Dancing with Gravitas: Welcome, Elul!

On Shabbat, during the prayer announcing the new moon, marking the Jewish month of Elul that arrives tonight, the woman sitting next to me said with a stunned look, "Elul is here - already?!"

Elul always seems to arrive with startling force - more than any other month in the calendar. I often dread its arrival, a stressful month of preparations for the "high holy days," a rush to get out final information for the holidays, distributing tickets to congregants and guests, polishing silver and brass, distributing "honors" for participation in services, choir rehearsals, security concerns, and for rabbis and cantors the writing of sermons and preparation of annual liturgy.

This year, I can hardly wait for Elul. And really, why dread such a beautiful thing?

Elul is ideally a time of reflection, not a time to rush. It is a time to slow down and consider one's actions and experience of the past year, to prepare heart and soul for the biggest tasks of the ten days of awe that will begin Tishrei, the month that follows, when we ask forgiveness from all people we may have harmed, we offer our own forgiveness, and we approach G-d with humility.

When Elul arrives on Wednesday (we begin Rosh Chodesh (new moon) celebration on Tuesday), it comes with a responsibility, to begin to awaken. We blast (or listen for) the shofar each day, somewhere between one tekiyah and ten varied blasts, depending on minhag. "Get ready," the shofar seems to say, "this is a serious and important spiritual season."

I feel, in some ways, that I have been living in Elul for months - ever since my job ended last November. I spent a lot of time reflecting, as I went back on the job market: what kind of work do I really want; where do I really want to live; how do I want to live? 

My fabulous partner and I - with support of every kind imaginable from family and friends - made a hard, risky choice. 

This week, as I settle into my new workplace, I am grateful for Elul's gravitas, for the reminder to check in with myself daily - am I building community with my new coworkers? am I representing myself well with my words and actions? am I listening deeply with my shofar-awakened ears and heart? 

Chodesh tov - may the new month bring joy and positive outlook in balance with and consequence of the deep work of self reflection and teshuvah ("repentance," or more literally "(re)turning").

B'Ezrat HaShem: With a Little Faith

B''H (With G-d's Help, A personal story)

The moon of Av has begun to wane - from full moon supermoon back to its crescent origins. Despite the heat, summer also wanes, and the rolling beginning of new school terms has begun.

I, too, have new beginnings upon me and approaching, and I want to share - personally and textually - a little bit of the experience of transition.

Less than two weeks ago (shortly after my last blog entry), my family - with me it is my spouse, my toddler son, and our three cats - moved from the east coast to the west coast. This is one of those big moves, not just because of distance but because we have done it for reasons of the heart far more than (perhaps in defiance of) practical concerns.

I gave up a solid job offer in the east, and we landed without an address (with gratitude to friends of friends who had an empty house in which we have been camping).

We came because we have always wanted to be here: I am returning to the city of my birth, here near family again after nearly a quarter century away, and my partner has fallen in love with this city in many visits over the years.

With each step in this decision, we have said one thing: we will do the footwork, and it will all work out.

I came out earlier in the summer, and managed - with gratitude to the networking support of one friend in particular - to procure part time work. The best part of this? I am so very thrilled by the working environment, the hamish community feeling, the positive energy. Who ends a job interview with hugs? I feel totally blessed!

Today, again through the networking of friends (this time a middle-school friend of mine, and that's a LONG time ago - many thanks to Facebook for reuniting us), we signed a lease on an apartment in a fabulous neighborhood, with good access both to my parents and to work, and so walkable, which I have longed for since I left so many years ago. I feel totally blessed!

Our decision to move here was because we wanted to live here, but the final push was my mother's health. She has, such blessing!, made a remarkable recovery, and since we arrived has moved home (more or less) from her various rehabs.

With a little faith, with a whim and a prayer, we jumped. And we are landing - slowly but surely - in our new lives.

The moon of Av is waning toward the crescent newness, which will become Elul, a month in which we are called to prepare our hearts and souls for the rigorous demands of faith.  Last night's fortune cookie told me to be careful what I wish for. That's a statement of faith. And I'm ever so glad I wished for this. I feel totally blessed!

B''H - B'Ezrat HaShem - with G-d's help.
Barukh HaShem - Blessed is the Source.