All that white space in Torah, the spaces between the words, the information left out… I wonder, was it left out intentionally? Or did the “author(s)” of Torah know that they just needed to “finish” the work and put it out there even if it wasn’t “perfect”?
Apparently, I have writer’s block. I was sure I posted in January, but apparently not. Believe me, I’ve been writing up a storm! I’ve even drafted a few blog entries, on “paper” and in my head. I have plenty to say.
But I’m (re)discovering that writer’s block isn’t always about not writing. Sometimes, yes, it’s the stare-at-the-page-can’t-find-a-single-word block. Sometimes I have a lot to say, and I really want to share it, and I’ve even written it out. But I make excuses: I don’t know if this is right for the blog, I’m not sure it’s a “finished” product, I don’t know if anyone is actually reading, or I don’t know if the “wrong” people are reading, or I do want feedback or I don’t want feedback, I’m sick, my son is on school break, I don’t have time.
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| At My Writing Space, created by prompt from The Artist's Way |
In December, shortly before this unconscious hiatus from blogging, a rabbinic colleague recommended a book called The Artist’s Way (Julia Cameron) - a workbook aimed at moving one past various creative blocks, recognizing that the creative energy in us is the way in which we created in the image of the Creator. This is a very compelling answer to me about what Torah means that humans are created “in the image of G-d” (Genesis 1:27).
In the process of engaging with this book, I have written hundreds of pages - mostly journaling, but also drafts of two children’s books and some unpublished blog posts. When the book asks each week if I see where I am blocked, I scoff. “I’m not blocked,” I say, “I’m writing - I’m blogging.” Whoops. The only writing I have shared, however, has been work-related sermons and such. I’ve shared the writing I had to write, not the writing that I have created as part of my personal creative energy.
I’ve used every excuse, until I became aware this week how bad the excuses really are. And I see, after weeks of working through the book and claiming NOT to be blocked, that I actually am blocked. Yes, I’m writing. But I’m not sharing.
Can there be “wrong readers” on a blog, since anyone who reads the blog is self-selecting to do so? And since I can find changes to make in any sermon, blog entry, short story, etc. that I’ve already been put out into the world, I know a finished project isn’t necessarily a perfected one. I need to unblock, to put my work (and yes, sometimes my process) out there - blog or otherwise. It won’t always be good, and it will have white space (intentional and not). Let the readers read into it as they will.
More soon. Um...I hope!
